Mathematics and me -part 3
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Its often said that 'one falls in love, never rises'.But then i feel
that love makes one fall but like a waterfall which becomes an icon of
beauty and dedication for many years to come.It becomes an unending
chapter which always adds a note of smile and inspiration to the minds
of people.And do u know when i realised this? It was when i had fallen
in love with the world of mathematics.I was a young mind, ready to take
any challenge,and I had become a matter of discussion all around, i.e.
can i really make it to the National level game?Haha!
Yes, something within me always whispered that I can try and succeed
in whatever I want to do.Something within me said that,pyaar mein aansu
bahelana padta hai.So this is nothing.And then i marched on.But the
obstacle was my 10th grade examination.Only one month before my SSC
examination, i will have to appear my national exam.So,many suggested
me to concentrate on my studies, and forget my experiments for a
while.
However these didnt stop me.Appearing the national exam was a far goal
now, Initially i again needed to qualify myself for being eligible to
appear for it by clearing the state level examination.My love for numbers
gave me the strength and I did get a 3rd rank in state.My esteemed
teachers were extremely happy as the 1st and 2nd rank holders were from a
senior grade.Expectations increased and an astounding fact is that this
success of mine did act both in positive and negative rock bearers in
the road that i had yet not traversed.But life goes interesting yaar.
My preparation for my 10th grade went on a full phase so that i can free
myself a bit for my national level exam.But then the law of matter had
its own plans for me.I fell ill on january 7th suffering from chicken
pox,the very same day on which my pre-test began.My exam got over on jan
23 and my national olympiad had its test date as the 1st sunday of
feb.Hehe! And even till then I hadnt completely recovered yet.Dont know
how,giving up was something not at all admirable to me.With lots of
courage,I went to appear the test at Bhubaneswar.Swadheen Sir and
Mohapatra Sir were upset and were taking care of me while I was
appearing the same.Even they knew things are'nt in my hand but still
they felt everything is possible with me.When I came out of the hall,
the manner in which they quesioned me how did i perform, gave a vivid
picture of how much they expected out of me.Yes!And why shouldnt they
expect??? I was like a small plant whose roots were in their heart.I was
able to understand everything but then my health was not giving my
side.And I myself didnt know how much had I really done.
The air of confusion was breaking me down.But then again, as usual,my
conscience came to my rescue.It echoed,"Awake Sonali,You are meant to
perform experiments, not decide the success of every experiment.Moreover
if every experiment would become successful, then there is no meaning of
the word experiment then.Well done buddy.I see a star ahead."Then on
went my march for board exams.Although I had'nt left any single word on
which a question can be sought, yet I managed to get a descent 92%
whereas the whole Berhampur city was expecting to see my name in the top 1o
of all India.My internal marks went low because I didnt go for the
tutions but whom can I say what is the reality.
My parents broke down and and expectations divided my city into 2
parts.One still believed that it was just a mishap and I ll really do well
ahead and the others felt that all these days they had stayed in an
illusion about my success.A ingeuous mind with flights of feather, I never
knew all these can every happen in reality shows although I had seen many
in TV shows.Poor girl, whom can I say what was going on in my mind?
Bubbly cheeks, my tears deep within ,yet smiling to make the world around
me smile.A kind of phobia captured me.I worked hard again for my olympiad
state level,gave in the maximum efforts when I moved to the centre of
examination, really dont know what happened.I knew I cd solve all the
questions , a great chance but then I dont know what happened to my mind.I
was pulling my hair, trying to concentrate, But i was sweating like
anything, was not able to accept the challenge.I managed to get a safe 50
but then when I came out of the hall,I felt I am already out of the game
this time since the starting innings itself.
My tears grew to infinity but then I knew I had lot of responsibility.I
felt 'let the universe conspire what it feels to conspire'.And soon I
heard about the results and I had a rank 7th in the state.I was again
invited for the camp but my Gurujis were all disappointed.
It was a big knock out at their expectations.They felt I have lost my mind
perhaps.It was like I was floating in a matrix of minus signs.But then
something within me again told me,'Sonali, u r a soldier.U need to fight
to get your love till u die'.And I started working hard in teh camp
without even a gossip with anyone.All my past friends and mentors were
kind of taken aback by the quality of effort I was putting in.That really
melted the heart of my Mentors and once Swadheen Sir asked me ,"what had
really happened?Why I cdnt do well that year."
The momeny he heard that I had prepared so much, he went on an impulse to
test if I was speaking the truth and then he gave me an exercise from a
book which we used to rate as tougher problems.To his surprise, I was
ready with nearly all the solutions by evening.I can never forget that
moment.He was looking with deep intent at my face and then at my
solutions.That day, i could see in his eyes again, how much he really
loved me.The current was not there yet his face glowed with a deeply
rooted smile.He said,"You can do really well".
The 7 days of camp life was coming to an end.And like every year,the
tentative names who would do well were about to be out.I knew that my name will not be in the list as expectations on me had grown low over the years.I was smiling but all within me, I knew what I was actually feeling.Fake smile, hidden tears, lots of aspirations yet helpless time,didn’t know where to go, how to face life.
However, that day took a turn.As I was just packing my luggage, Swadheen Sir arrived in my chamber and said, “sonali, Do u love me?”
I answered,”yes sir, definitely”.
And then he said,”see if u really love me so much then understand that I am growing old.So atleast for the sake of this old man whom you love so much, work harder once you go home.Promise me that you would practice only mathematics and do nothing else for this one month.A lot of obstacles would definitely come your way.It may be from you parents.They may pressurize you to study for the 11th grade exam. But atleast for once donot listen to them for this one month.
Just do what I have asked you to.And I assure you success this year for sure. I guarantee you that this time, you will be able to make upto INMO.”
Back home, I felt ,let me try.And I worked hard.I worked as he said just to give me an ultimate attempt.
And then finally appeared the exam. After I wrote the exam, I had no thoughts in my mind.It was as if I had stopped thinking on what is happening.And I got back to my normal college days.
Par yahan kahani khatam nahin huyi.Just after around 20 days, one day early morning, our land phone began ringing.And my mother picked up to realize that INMO results were out and I was finally into the group of 30 INMO awardees . It was Chandra Sir’s call and I was crying with happiness.Infact I wasn’t able to believe that I had finally reached where I dreamt of going.Finally, Swadheen Sir and all others were all happy to know that I was the only and first girl from my state to qualify this test.Then my trip to Bombay was schedules and I enjoyed in the Bollywood city,learning new thinsg every now and while.
I finally would like to sign off by stating Chandra Sir’s comment ,”Finally hum logon ki Sonali zero se hero nahin par heroine ban gayi”.
HeHe,Life goes on, I hav many more things to share, ll come back soon.
Bye !
