Oh GOD, bless us

My dear baby blog,

It all happened without any caution.It all happened without a danger sign. But someone said me that the prayers and wishes of the world can give back happiness to this little world. So, here I chose a way to

let the world know what is that which happened without a caution.

April 1’2009.People wished each other Happy Fool’s Day.

April 2’2009.My grandmother yells ,”Sony, Tana has fooled everyone and gone away.She left all of us alone Sony.” And I realized that even I had been seriously fooled by the circumstances as conspired by the universe.And my youngest sis ‘Soma’ being fooled still yet.

April 3’2009, I realize that time is the biggest thief.

Yes, now, who will give me back my best daughter, my best bua, my best life-saver , my best sister, my 2^nd mother???How will I give a smile to all those who have been bereaved of their greatest possession? How can I explain the core truth of life to my dearest sis who is so innocent in her thoughts ? Whom shall I ask for all these BABA? How will I console my grandfather and grandmother? How will the shattered family get back its own share of happiness and when ? Today I have only questions but I have no answers to any of these.

Someone said me that time is the the most effective healer. Someone said me “you need to keep going my dear child, these are parts and parcels of life.”Someone said me “You need to be strong for the whole world around you is crying.”

When I close my eyes, I just see her face. When I sleep, in my dreams, I hear her voice. I hear the giggles of my little sis and then hear her tears and then wake up and pray to GOD to save this little child from this great disaster. However, in all this race for justice, I find myself completely alone.

Whom can I tell how much I miss my Tanuri?I don’t want to cry as I know that if I cry, she would also cry from heaven.

But my baby blog, I am not able to write anymore.However, I trust you.Kindly help me in collecting prayers and wishes from the souls who come across you . Yes, my dearest reader, please pray to GOD for helping this world brimming with tears to learn to smile again.

Oh BABA, Bless my little sis so that she can face all that is happening and give her strength so that her innocent sentiments remain unaffected by all that she is about to hear.Please make the soul of my bua rest at peace.Kindly be with my grandparents and all the rest so that they gain the strength to continue living without the heroine of the family.

Love You BABA and Trust YOU always.

"Life gives us a thousand reasons to cry but life also gives us a million reasons to smile."

"Life is not what it is destined to be, but its just a line tracer of how we think."

"Life is not what we see but its often what we fail to see for things always appear to us the way we conceive of them and our fear keeps
us million apart from the reality."

"The best medicine to keep a person in happiness is nothing but love."

"Since childhood, we learn to reciprocate feelings and emotions;yet we forget;And so life's worst conflict peeps in when life loves us
and we forget to love it back."

"Life has gifted us with two great weapons:- mind and heart.Beware! As the two are not exchangeable."

"Our mind gives us a dual tone effect, where as our heart chants only a single mantra."

"Love your co-inmates of this world ;they might be completely different from the way you are but just think: this means that you
are also completely different from the way your co-inmate is."

"The world abounds in diversities.You are born not to discern them, neither are you born to resolve them;rather you are born to
see the beauty of this diversified yet united globe."


"Believe and faith can add a million stars to a person's life but distrust can just erode him away from this world forever.
So,learn to believe and trust your fellow-mates as he/she also has a simple yet a great desire like you have:its to live and
and to see the beauty of the world."

"Remember 'trust begets trust'.Trust can even change a thief to a pious sage for trust is a divine power that awakens the humanity
from within."

"Never fear to commit mistakes for no person is perfect and its only through mistakes that you can learn the difference between
right and wrong."


"Donot love religion,rather love humanity,for if you put religion apart,a Hindu is also a humanbeing just like a Muslim ,or a Christian
or a Sikh is.Moreover, God did come in various forms not to divide you into religious barriers but just to preach you the mantra of
peace in your very own way so that you can be a fast learner."

"Learn to respect the importance of every work and also every worker,just imagine your life without a washerman, without a cobbler,
without a shopkeeper......Its with their services that your life becomes comfortable worthy for you.Atleast,for yourself,love and
respect them;You need to realise that status doesnot give the greatness tag to a kind of work, rather the value of that work gives.
And value never depends upon the complexity of the work rather value depends upon how often you need that in your life.Moreover, its
the small things that matter the most rather than the rare big things that happen to you.And its equally true that, we
subconsciously fail to see those petty things as we have got tuned to the race of the muscular globe where the fittest survive.
So, i earnestly request my brethren to open your eyes beyond what you have been accustomed to see till today.Try it, respect what
you are observing,your soul will rest at peace."

Miles away

Miles away from where I were born
When Saturn ruled that fine morn,
I see the same sun
bears the same erudite look
I see the same moon
echoes the same reclusive book
Of credence unknown
That the same stars twinkled that fine morn
When I were born
With hopes evergreen and thoughts puerile
With plumose sentiments,
ruling endless sediments
Waving titanic valediction
to the timorous delusion
I saw with daring eyes
to the dawn of a revolution
As I still see.....
With deliberate intention
Yet in oblivion
Of how it began in the soul of a dudgeon
Who knew the anthem of a sangfroid guardian.



Miles away from where I were born,
I see the same encephalons burn
With cecity unknown in the reality ground
I see the same roads being turn
Towards the same thrasonical end
With terminus factitious
And smile fortuitous
and dreams osseous.
They smell tear where I spell gear
They see jejune where I see neptune
They see the border
Where I see the sommersault corner
They say there is glamour
Where my vision traces gutter
They spread hatred
And I see the noxious
They see the skin;
I see the blood within.
Yet with impeccable audacity,
I need to march against the gravity
For the acephalous globe being nescient
About the harsh veracity.



Miles away from where I were born
I see the same dust floating for rust
I feel the same incertitude blowing with a gust
I hear the ineffable language in the firmament
Where the pilot sees the difference
Yet I say with unbound confidence
That I hover in the same interstice
Where declivity resides and reigns paradise.
But Alas!
I see what not to be seen,
I see what yet to be seen,
Yet I donot see
what is to be seen.
For I see in the custodian
The image of a guardian
With mendacity exorbitant and attitude inexorable
The hands that pray
For no change in what they say
Making the globe fall a prey
For the reticent dwarf
Of the taciturn gay.



Miles away from where I were born
I dream to see the Vicissitude terrain
I dream to see the Gratuitous reign
With intention ingenuous
And encephalon gluttonous
Where reigns space,to embrace
True amity less cupidity
Pristine thoughts less boisterous gravity
Veritable insomnia less minacious phobia.

mathematics and me-part 3

Mathematics and me -part 3
----------------------------------------

Its often said that 'one falls in love, never rises'.But then i feel
that love makes one fall but like a waterfall which becomes an icon of
beauty and dedication for many years to come.It becomes an unending
chapter which always adds a note of smile and inspiration to the minds
of people.And do u know when i realised this? It was when i had fallen
in love with the world of mathematics.I was a young mind, ready to take
any challenge,and I had become a matter of discussion all around, i.e.
can i really make it to the National level game?Haha!
Yes, something within me always whispered that I can try and succeed
in whatever I want to do.Something within me said that,pyaar mein aansu
bahelana padta hai.So this is nothing.And then i marched on.But the
obstacle was my 10th grade examination.Only one month before my SSC
examination, i will have to appear my national exam.So,many suggested
me to concentrate on my studies, and forget my experiments for a
while.
However these didnt stop me.Appearing the national exam was a far goal
now, Initially i again needed to qualify myself for being eligible to
appear for it by clearing the state level examination.My love for numbers
gave me the strength and I did get a 3rd rank in state.My esteemed
teachers were extremely happy as the 1st and 2nd rank holders were from a
senior grade.Expectations increased and an astounding fact is that this
success of mine did act both in positive and negative rock bearers in
the road that i had yet not traversed.But life goes interesting yaar.
My preparation for my 10th grade went on a full phase so that i can free
myself a bit for my national level exam.But then the law of matter had
its own plans for me.I fell ill on january 7th suffering from chicken
pox,the very same day on which my pre-test began.My exam got over on jan
23 and my national olympiad had its test date as the 1st sunday of
feb.Hehe! And even till then I hadnt completely recovered yet.Dont know
how,giving up was something not at all admirable to me.With lots of
courage,I went to appear the test at Bhubaneswar.Swadheen Sir and
Mohapatra Sir were upset and were taking care of me while I was
appearing the same.Even they knew things are'nt in my hand but still
they felt everything is possible with me.When I came out of the hall,
the manner in which they quesioned me how did i perform, gave a vivid
picture of how much they expected out of me.Yes!And why shouldnt they
expect??? I was like a small plant whose roots were in their heart.I was
able to understand everything but then my health was not giving my
side.And I myself didnt know how much had I really done.

The air of confusion was breaking me down.But then again, as usual,my
conscience came to my rescue.It echoed,"Awake Sonali,You are meant to
perform experiments, not decide the success of every experiment.Moreover
if every experiment would become successful, then there is no meaning of
the word experiment then.Well done buddy.I see a star ahead."Then on
went my march for board exams.Although I had'nt left any single word on
which a question can be sought, yet I managed to get a descent 92%

whereas the whole Berhampur city was expecting to see my name in the top 1o
of all India.My internal marks went low because I didnt go for the
tutions but whom can I say what is the reality.

My parents broke down and and expectations divided my city into 2
parts.One still believed that it was just a mishap and I ll really do well
ahead and the others felt that all these days they had stayed in an
illusion about my success.A ingeuous mind with flights of feather, I never
knew all these can every happen in reality shows although I had seen many
in TV shows.Poor girl, whom can I say what was going on in my mind?

Bubbly cheeks, my tears deep within ,yet smiling to make the world around
me smile.A kind of phobia captured me.I worked hard again for my olympiad
state level,gave in the maximum efforts when I moved to the centre of
examination, really dont know what happened.I knew I cd solve all the
questions , a great chance but then I dont know what happened to my mind.I
was pulling my hair, trying to concentrate, But i was sweating like
anything, was not able to accept the challenge.I managed to get a safe 50
but then when I came out of the hall,I felt I am already out of the game
this time since the starting innings itself.

My tears grew to infinity but then I knew I had lot of responsibility.I
felt 'let the universe conspire what it feels to conspire'.And soon I
heard about the results and I had a rank 7th in the state.I was again
invited for the camp but my Gurujis were all disappointed.
It was a big knock out at their expectations.They felt I have lost my mind
perhaps.It was like I was floating in a matrix of minus signs.But then
something within me again told me,'Sonali, u r a soldier.U need to fight
to get your love till u die'.And I started working hard in teh camp
without even a gossip with anyone.All my past friends and mentors were
kind of taken aback by the quality of effort I was putting in.That really
melted the heart of my Mentors and once Swadheen Sir asked me ,"what had
really happened?Why I cdnt do well that year."
The momeny he heard that I had prepared so much, he went on an impulse to
test if I was speaking the truth and then he gave me an exercise from a
book which we used to rate as tougher problems.To his surprise, I was
ready with nearly all the solutions by evening.I can never forget that
moment.He was looking with deep intent at my face and then at my
solutions.That day, i could see in his eyes again, how much he really
loved me.The current was not there yet his face glowed with a deeply
rooted smile.He said,"You can do really well".

The 7 days of camp life was coming to an end.And like every year,the
tentative names who would do well were about to be out.I knew that my name will not be in the list as expectations on me had grown low over the years.I was smiling but all within me, I knew what I was actually feeling.Fake smile, hidden tears, lots of aspirations yet helpless time,didn’t know where to go, how to face life.

However, that day took a turn.As I was just packing my luggage, Swadheen Sir arrived in my chamber and said, “sonali, Do u love me?”

I answered,”yes sir, definitely”.

And then he said,”see if u really love me so much then understand that I am growing old.So atleast for the sake of this old man whom you love so much, work harder once you go home.Promise me that you would practice only mathematics and do nothing else for this one month.A lot of obstacles would definitely come your way.It may be from you parents.They may pressurize you to study for the 11^th grade exam. But atleast for once donot listen to them for this one month.
Just do what I have asked you to.And I assure you success this year for sure. I guarantee you that this time, you will be able to make upto INMO.”

Back home, I felt ,let me try.And I worked hard.I worked as he said just to give me an ultimate attempt.

And then finally appeared the exam. After I wrote the exam, I had no thoughts in my mind.It was as if I had stopped thinking on what is happening.And I got back to my normal college days.

Par yahan kahani khatam nahin huyi.Just after around 20 days, one day early morning, our land phone began ringing.And my mother picked up to realize that INMO results were out and I was finally into the group of 30 INMO awardees . It was Chandra Sir’s call and I was crying with happiness.Infact I wasn’t able to believe that I had finally reached where I dreamt of going.Finally, Swadheen Sir and all others were all happy to know that I was the only and first girl from my state to qualify this test.Then my trip to Bombay was schedules and I enjoyed in the Bollywood city,learning new thinsg every now and while.

I finally would like to sign off by stating Chandra Sir’s comment ,”Finally hum logon ki Sonali zero se hero nahin par heroine ban gayi”.

HeHe,Life goes on, I hav many more things to share, ll come back soon.

Bye !

mathematics and me -part 2

“Kabhi alvida na kehna”

This was the last link line that we(the camp mates of mathematics Olympiad camp) told to each other before taking our life’s own course back again.For me this line meant a lot as I knew next year, getting into this world again was again a remote chance quite alike my 2^nd experiment.That was because I knew next time, I will be appearing RMO(regional mathematics Olympiad ) which is a common test for grades 9^th – 12^th .As I belonged to 9^th grade I will be the youngest again.Moreover The statement of Mohapatro sir that “in rmo, only best 30 students from all orissa were selected,there was no cutoff” was resounding in my ears.With tears pumping out the waves of oceanic desperateness,I was feeling very low while my wish seemed to be an impossible dream.At present , to visualize the situation , I can say it was a similar situation when Ankita was once thrown out of Indian Idol contest.Everyone loved her, they were crying including the judges.It was like she had to fight back again.May be I shared somewhat similar feelings like Ankita then.

Just in time, Swadheen sir rushed into our corridor for meeting some other student.And I don’t know what did he notice in my silent eyes ,he just asked me to work hard and said “I feel u can go upto INMO level”.His words suddenly filled up my oxygen cylinder and atleast I was able to breathe in now…some fresh air.The moment I reached home, I made up my mind to give my best and leave the rest to GOD.I picked up “singhal and singhal Olympiad mathematics” and started doing it chapter by chapter.Two months passed like a wind….and then the day came when I had to show my results of my so called 3^rd experiment.With ineffable spirits I checked out the questions that would determine my future.Collaterally, all the camp memories , the love and affection of my teachers and friends were just flashing in my mind, and I just said to myself “little sony apni kamal dikhayegi , vo phir vapas jayegi apne teachers ke paas”And after that I don’t know how those 3 hours went in the exam hall.Just at the entrance gate,my father and my school teacher Pradeep Sir were waiting to know about how I have done.My dubious expressions just calmed them down to a neutral position.But don’t know why my parents were always affirmative about my performance although I didn’t even want to think of it as I was going through a timorous phase of my life.God saved me …from the avid inundation..I got busy into my school annual-day with heavy responsibilities and multiple duties.I was for the first time assigned a job of being a live background singer for all the items including dances and drama.It was one more real challenging day for me.It was also a day of pride for me as the school reporters were supposed to read my name more than once for the different prizes that I had earned to my credit.And the best ones I loved were my mathematics Olympiad awards.

The clock ticked 7:30 and just then I was having a short gossip with one of my school juniors Swayam Prabha who happened to be one of those school reporters.She said “didi,Pradeep Sir has just given me some new information to be announced and your name is there.” I showed an indifferent attitude as I felt may be they must have missed something of my past achievements.She told me its something about mathematics Olympiad but i was not in a position to think of any unbelievable thing happening.Moreover both of us also got busy into our respective duties and so I completely forgot,till I was standing along with my other friends on the stage while the school reporters were closing the school news of pride.And just then it went like this:

“We have one more good news today fortunately to add on to our caps.Miss Sonali Nanda has proved it again.She has become 1^st in zonal level and 11^th in state in this year’s Regional Mathematics Olympiad .To add on , the zonal co-ordinator has expressed his happiness as she happens to be the youngest to qualify this exam.”

Trust me , I was taken aback by such a news and at such an unexpected moment.While the entire parents gallery were giving a big round of applause for me and I could see our Principal
smiling at me, and while my friends were congratulating me on my success, I was still in a state of shock.I was like “ have I really got through?”But then I didn’t have much time to recover from such a state as my next programme followed.

Three hours of continuous hard work behind the stage and on stage , and finally when the programme got over, I was astonished to find that many didn’t know that all the songs in the function were live performance.My teachers quoted it as “superb flawless performance by sonali and her team”.Completely engrossed in such unthinkable achievement, I had forgotten that something more incredulous than this had also happened that evening till I met my parents and my most adorable Kali bhaina and Bhauja(he is my cousin brother and he happens to be even elder to my mom).When they congratulated me , I was a bit confused regarding the purpose of that congratulation.”Was it because of my performance that night or because of the other thing?”But then when Pradeep Sir joked in “hey you havnt got through RMO,don’t be that happy?”,my confusions bcame clear.

On the way back home, I told my father “baba, please I want to call Swadheen Sir as soon as we reach home, I want to know the authentic news from him.I am feeling a bit difficult to believe in.”

They weren’t happy with my response to the occasion but they did the way I wanted.When I heard from Mohapatro Sir, I was finally relieved and made up my mind for my camp (this time 2 camps, winter and summer).My cheek inflated with real happiness and that year my camp was the most memorable one as I was with Pallavi didi as my roommate.We were only 2 girls in a group of 30 and that year,our state Olympiad team had invited international coaches of India to train us before we appear for National level test.What to say , this time the feel was really very different , as if we are representing our state at the national level.As usual , my teachers had lots of hope from me again regarding my national level performance.It was just one month ahead.I appeared but then don’t know where I went wrong.I got an ideal zero score in the national exam.My teachers wanted to hide it at first from me as they didn’t want to upset and discourage by childish sentiments but when I insisted the truth came out.My parents were disturbed and so were others associated with me in this regard.However I don’t know what inspiration lead me then to a great statement “Anupam Kher to zero se hero ban sakte hain , to mein bhi zero se hero banungi”

And now ……was sonali able to become a hero from zero or not? and did she go for any other experiment or not ?Answers to all these will come up in my ..”Mathematics and me – part 3”

Till then “Good bye”

mathematics and me -part 1

As a kid,I loved all my subjects.My father was very strict regarding my marks in mathematics.If I used to loose one single mark, my heart used to throb in fear of the reactions of my parents in home.However I don’t know how that fear used to give my puerile sentiments some extra energy.Every moment, something used to reverberate within me that I will prove myself better next time.My experiments with mathematics began when I was in class 5^th.I still remember my class teacher Mrs.Madhumita teaching us some short techniques regarding quick calculations.The technique was applicable for two digit numbers whose unit digit is 5.Suddenly ,some innervoice within me boldly questioned, is it that there is no such technique for other numbers, I mean in general all two digit numbers.My teacher’s negative answer gave me a positive power again and I said ,” Miss, if I find such a technique then ???” Looking into my ingenuous eyes , she smiled and said “ no sonali, there’s no such method”and she walked off. But that didn’t stop me.My encephalon gave its support to my wish…and I started working along with 2 of my friends to prove that I was correct and nothing is impossible.I didn’t pay attention to a single other class that day but to everyone’s surprise, at the end of the day , I was ready with a short cut for multiplication of 2 digit numbers.And I still remember how I was running with excitement towards Mrs.Madhumita.She gave an astounding look and had nothing to say.For she saw , what I was explaining her was true.My eyes widened and I realized that I can do impossible things possible…….although that was an exaggerated thought for an adult….for me , being a child, that meant a lot.

Since that day , I was searching for opportunities ,trying to think what new things I can do.My father perhaps realized that my brain was meant for bigger things and made me do sums from Competition Master etc.When I used to find myself being able to solve mathematics coming for civil services exam , that too at the age of a 6^th grade student , my confidence grew and I started experimenting everyday with new questions.Its always said, when you seek opportunities, they do knock at your door.And that exactly happened when the Olympiad Society of Orissa started the Junior Mathematics Olympiad (JMO) for the first time when I was in 7^th grade.Amidst excess avidity ,I forgot to carry my watch to the exam hall, inspite of knowing that it was a ‘big’ exam.My parents were really tensed .but then somehow I managed.That JMO paper again became an experiment for me.I had 3 hours in hand and a lot many questions.It was a common paper for 6^th, 7^th and 8^th grade students.I still remember the 1^st short qn “ if n is a perfect square what will be the next perfect square?” After glancing at the question , for the first few seconds, I felt, i cannot do that.But then that extra energy again revived and came to my rescue.I said to myself “ I have to get the answer “ And surprisingly I solved it; with that positive force I tried the other sums, and reached a score of 42 in a total paper of 100.That was just pass mark according to traditional mathematics paper.So my father shouted at me once he heard about that ,the intensity of which atleast reduced after he saw the paper.

My second experiment’s probability of success was dismal as per me…But then to my surprise, 42 was a good score in such mathematics levels and I was more shocked to find myself ranked 14 in all Orissa.And that time I was the only student from 7^th grade from my school and rest all students who had qualified were in 8^th grade.Thus ,in this way , God gave me a first lift.Then started the era of me qualifying exams each year and attending camps.My first mathematics Olympiad camp was in the foothills of Jyoti Vihar, Burla.During that time, I was one of the youngest students attending the camp, so full of energy and enthusiasm,I never knew who is Prof.Swadheenanda Patnaik and who is Dr.C K Mohapatro.I had just heard about them.My one of the most embarrassing situations occurred when I had asked Prof .Swadheenanda Patnaik “ excuse me, can u tell me who is Swadheen sir , I want to meet him.” He chuckled.Anyways, if I now start narrating all my fascinating stories of camp life, it would take enough of my wordspace.So , feel like speaking of that sometime next.

So,on went the girl in frocks with pellucid ideas, with unprecedented confidence towards reviewing her 2^nd expermiment when she appeared the 2^nd JMO exam as a student of 8^th grade.Her ingenuous eyes got submerged in an ocean of tears when her father found out that she had committed some silly mistakes in the test.But you know, she silently believed in her fortitude.It was true she didn’t meet the zenith of her goal, but then she was a girl who cannot be stopped by a single failure.”Yes,I ll better myself next time.Atleast I havnt lost out completely, I am 5^th in state,May be something more good is there for me in the days to come “,this is what she said to herself, and defying all odds, attended the camp as usual.You know, when someone starts believing in herself, it doesnot go unnoticed always.And perhaps something such had happened when Dr.Swadheennanda Patnaik asked me to attend the training of the senior wing.I was shocked to find myself again the youngest in the senior division.Now I said to myself “ Abhi aur peeche na mudna, I have got another life, I ll prove that I am worth it”.When the classes used to echo with bouncer questions, I used to wonder what to do , how to do .Whenever teachers used to look into my enigmatic expressions,I always used to answer back with my most popular phrase, “I am trying ,ho jayega”; bringing a unique smile unto everyone’s life.Finally I cannot forget that day when Swadheen sir had given 3 questions from congruence modulo as homework.Congruence Modulo was the only topic somewhat within my comprehension out of all those wonder magic.So i wanted to solve them.Back to hostel , I found, all my senior classmates enjoying and looking at me with odd glances of surprise and mockery as I was a child in front of them and I was too sincerely trying hard at those 3 sums.That burned my childish sentiments more and I tried more hard at them.”I can do it ,nothing is impossible”,this was the only thing I was telling to myself.The clock ticked 12:00 midnight, all slept in my room ,but I was still awake.And finally at 1 o’ clock, to my surprise, I hit at the right place.At that time , I just wanted to jump and dance saying “hurrah,I have done it!”But then now my strong desire had turned into a lust .I worked for the other 2 too,…and finally I slept at the break of the morning ,with a true smile on my lips, although just for an hour.Then I marched unto the class, with a glitter in my eyes, yet was feeling a bit afraid , may be my hit is wrong.My heart beat fast when sir asked for the solutions.And my fear grew more intense when I found no one else giving a positive response.Amidst an ominous silence I just mumbled,”I have done it, but I don’t know ,may be I am wrong.”Hey,but hats off to my great teachers,they always studied my impulse very accurately.He straightaway asked me to give the solution on the blackboard.I was not even given any chance for 2^nd question or reply.And as I was solving the sums on the board, I found him sitting in a pensive mood and observing me keenly.He said me “good ,sonali “ and then the entire class gave a big applause for me.I never realized why he was so silent except a few words of appreciation till he met my mom in the evening and said ,

“ Mam, I feel you should be really proud of your daughter, today she has silenced me by her hardwork and intelligence,today she has done something which even people elder to her have failed to , today she has really proved that she deserved much more,we people have grown high hopes on her now,I feel she will surely shine in future and fulfill our dreams.” Hearing all these golden words, I thanked GOD,and made up my mind for my next mission.

My next mission will come in Mathematics and me –part 2 , till then goodbye…..

Miss Dudgeon in my dreams..

Have you ever looked at the veracity of life? Have you ever tried to combat what is called ‘acerbity of an antagonist’? If not , well have u ever felt the pulse of vivacious alacrity for taking up minacious jobs?I don’t know what ur lips would utter but I just know this for sure that there is someone called “Dudgeon” who would for sure answer all these in the affirmative.Yes ,” Dudgeon, ….one of the most pugnacious souls….Oh Dudgeon! My God, how boring ? she is a malediction to our age of plumose wings….” This was how majority opined about Dudgeon whenever she was seen in her amorphous gait .But perhaps the world of College of Fortitude failed to realize the clarity of this impeccable soul.Well one day,when the fortune wheel forced one other hilarious soul to walk unto the earth’s bower….he too got a compendious introduction about Dudgeon ..but the time machine created some unique reverberations in his conscience, he couldn’t see the thrasonical Dudgeon …..but what he saw, he felt it’s a benediction to the globe of muscular power. His seed of inquisitiveness lead him towards her and then one fine Friday,he said “ Dudgeon , I am Vicissitude from Mars…..Hey , tell me why is it that your name is Dudgeon ?” After a gap of delectable silence, she said “It’s the anger within me that makes me stand different out of the crowd.I don’t have a vaunting veil but an audacious velvet forms my armament.My anger kindles the fire of juvenescence in my indigent heart.So , I am named DUDGEON.” “Wow , what an answer?”, Her veritable simulacrum turned him into a taciturn…Her ingenuous smile and yet ineffable assiduity gave him the sensation of a hallucination.He didn’t know what to believe…He wondered if she was the same Dudgeon about whom the world spoke querulous words.He finally took a leave from her for that day…..and his entire night went in haunting about the fallacious tableau that he had been shown……His enigma resulted in insomnia…….

The next day: The refescent rays bubbling through the window hole were trying to penetrate the indolent eyeballs of Mr.Vicissitude.With wrinkles across the brow , he stretched his hands and legs apart….Just then some fine wind whispered into his ears , “ Wake up Mr .Vicissitude. You are born to see the pristine creations of the world…you can perhaps identify the mendacity that this globe holds…go ahead…run” Well , don’t know what occurred to him then…..When the minute hand clicked on the next minute-space, I saw him in front of Miss. Dudgeon.Seeing her puerile gestures and perfunctory attitude, he felt he has come near Miss. Sangfroid , not Miss.Dudgeon…….After glancing at her ever optimistic eyes for a couple of minutes with astonishment , he uttered,”Hello Dudgeon , can u please tell me the thesaurus of ur life? I want to know my friend better.” Not astounded by his question, she opened her lexicon and read out to him the proclivitous life of “A Turned –Dumb Listener”:-

“Thousands walk on that galaxy path,

Thousands sit on its lovely bark

Thousands cough and thousands laugh,

On that very path that I too tread upon,but-

The chirps I hear are heard

The smile I search are searched

The blue I pluck are plucked

The rain I see are seen

But by few,

For others take dew as “hue”

And I feel cursed to have eyes

That see the molecules deep within

And embrace solitude to breathe in.

Gilded tombs with memorizing glitter

Roaring tides with oceanic glamour

Angelic sky with galaxial crackers

I see all as others do see however

I feel cursed,to have a lust

To see gold untouched by dust

To feel the forever waves, not tides

And yes, as others don’t –

To see a sky of just stars,true and pure.

I hear my glassy temperaments howl

I see the edging knife

taking my soul in a bowl

I feel the genuinity with which I feel

But I feel the thunder cutting pain

And the blood flow

From my shivering tongue

Being cut

By the oceanic desperate glow

For there’s none to hear

The depth of my gear

So, here’s I , turned dumb listener

And feel cursed to find in me the rarety

That makes me feel life’s purity

But fail to merge others with reality

And thus,I feel cursed….

To see me being lost

In the realm of heavy cost and lust.”

Bewildered by these words, Mr.Vicissitude also penetrated the zone of ominous silence ….till a leaf dropped on him from the senile banyan tree…..and he suddenly realized that he needs to come out of the pendulous thoughts and deal with the reality……”I am sorry yaar, I just had turned into a stone…wondering about the story of your aphonia. ”

“its ok…….i cd understand that” muttered the sweet voice..of tranquility….

“ hey, whatever it is…..don’t feel cursed…..you are a wonderful plenipotentiary of myriad emotions.. feel proud of being among the finest encephalon bearers…..i am there for u ….”

“but I feel vacuous when my thoughts of prospicience are taken as insipience….I feel a wrong chronometer ticking off my way……My sempervirent inundation takes the name of spurious intentions in their dictionary….Although I am from the amity world, people take my amicability as a pusillanimous effort….My habit of sagacious proclamation of truth is downcasted as misleading intention. My pure innocuous sudation is taken as acidic asperity……Yet I feel from within ……I am born to think …and do what the world will do in next 50 years to come….and when these thoughts make me quiescent, my anger comes to my rescue……and I march on …taking my stars as my favourite companion…”

Thus went on the sweet notes of the rose from Venus.

Mr.Vicissitude intervened…..and said , “ I understand the gravity of your situation…..Hey , Lets put it this way …Successful people are born with a difference ….and so the mundane world fails to comprehend their adroitness….they fail to respect the fact that they are being respected by those whom they don’t respect…so , go ahead Miss Dudgeon….Let not the reactions of others bother you….A day will definitely come when not just your stars ….but all the stars,…..will look at you with reverence…I am there for you, Dudgeon ….as your friend….Go ahead”

Dudgeon thanked Mr.Vicissitude and thus they went on a long march hand in hand…..

Just in time, I awoke from my dreamy world and in a sedentary state , observed, “Hats off to Miss.Dudgeon ….Oh GOD, I wish I were in her place….and please GOD , bless her to have a perpetual friendship with that great man Mr.Vicissitude……”

Since then …..in all day stars and night stars…..i feel the flavour of a different emotion …..that I fail to elucidate.